Your doctor is lying to you

     Your doctor is lying to you, or if you see the same doctor as me, then my doctor is lying to you.  See, it's like this:  the years of piano, vocals, and coming up with clever comebacks when folks shout out 'freebird' have taken their toll on ole ryan.  I said to myself, "self - you gotta take better care, be healthier".  Not wanting to shock the system, I'm taking this step by step.  'Bout 9 months ago I gave up fast food.  Not.  Easy.  Took 4 weeks for the itchin' and cravins to stop.  Heather tells me I still sometimes mumble 'McRib... McRib...  extra sauce" in my sleep.  Weird that she can hear that all the way from the yard when I'm kicked out the house...  
     Speaking of sleeping in the yard - it was roughly 6 months ago I took the next step to better health and gave up cocktails.  Completely empty calories, tamps down the immune system, studies show noooo bueno.   Then, 3 months ago started getting better sleep - 7 hours a night is the min.  Well... I'm still waiting to collect my windfall health dividend of more energy, better mood, whiter teeth, shinier coat...  Not only do I not feel better, I now have precious few excuses for how I DO feel.  Time was I could wake up on a Saturday and though I felt lousy remind myself that I was out ‘till 3am (the only time on the 24 hour clock when Taco Bell seems a good idea), got home, then chased that chimichanga with a Makers Mark.  Had a good time, then felt lousy - see, the world made sense.  Now?  Now I have neither rhyme nor reason when less than well.  No cause, no effect - all random.
     The answer?  Reintroduce bad habits to scape-goat whatever ails me.  I'll thus be starting each weekday in flavor country with 2 strips of bacon and a Pall Mall.  Deeeee-licious.
"Gee ryan, you look like hell"
"Of course I do, I fired off this Tuesday with Jimmy Dean and Phillip Morris"
"Oh, well... then carry on."
     So If you find yourself healthy as a horse (a comparison somewhat dependent on the horse), nothing will test your vigor faster than an evening with the J Ryan Trio.  You'll feel like a million bucks (all green and wrinkly).  An evening with good food, good friends and good music?  Priceless.